He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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