Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
