I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
