If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
