The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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