grandma shit on top of the toilet
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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