Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
