I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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