I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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