I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize