That's when you crack a 10am beer
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize