I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it hurts more in the daytime
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
