But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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