goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
