I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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