Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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