I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
