Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
