sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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