Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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