The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
