didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
