i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
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I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
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I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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