the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
