I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
