Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
