So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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