I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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