What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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