My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
