just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
