You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
