If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
