did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Randomize
