I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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