are you still at the devil's house?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme