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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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• (323): View more from California

  In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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• (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

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• (212): View more from New York

  maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"

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• (646): View more from New York

  Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.

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• (718): View more from New York

  I just ate a handful of salt

  (718): View more from New York

  I thought this was a good idea

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!

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