Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Good luck man

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  I dont need it. Shes easy.

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  (514): Good luck man (1-514): I dont need it. Shes easy. http://tfl.nu/vh2g
  Replies (8) Good night (2124) Bad night (743)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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  (919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd
  Replies (444) Good night (114708) Bad night (10635)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!

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  (813): for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?! http://tfl.nu/r22y
  Replies (51) Good night (6872) Bad night (991)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3318) Bad night (1279)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.

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  (937): I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge. http://tfl.nu/8lhz
  Replies (19) Good night (4583) Bad night (1176)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS

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  (609): And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS http://tfl.nu/9yrh
  Replies (17) Good night (1284) Bad night (4698)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

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  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (4073) Bad night (1183)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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  (917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg
  Replies (11) Good night (3956) Bad night (1523)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard

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  (717): But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard http://tfl.nu/v6zl
  Replies (4) Good night (1097) Bad night (1517)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.

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  (608): he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually. http://tfl.nu/qiv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2698) Bad night (936)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.

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  (717): It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me. http://tfl.nu/ym25
  Replies (9) Good night (1008) Bad night (1315)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.

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  (678): You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes. http://tfl.nu/g0jp
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (770)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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  (954): Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice. http://tfl.nu/h7nm
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (328)
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  (858): View more from California

  Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.

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  (858): Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself. http://tfl.nu/wluz
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (302)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole

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  (717): I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole http://tfl.nu/gmo5
  Replies (2) Good night (434) Bad night (126)

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