What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize