just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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