your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
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the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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