i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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