This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
