it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
