You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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