well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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