I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
