just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize