Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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