when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
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I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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