we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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