We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize