Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
