I accidentally burped into my bong.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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