I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
