At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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