OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my shit smells like andre
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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