You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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