He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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