One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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