Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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