Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
How naked do you want me to be?
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