Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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