Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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