I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
